Saturday, February 6, 2010

From the HEART of a Mother!

Chaz has become quite the sleep champ recently. Not only does he sleep 9+ hours but he also puts himself to sleep at night. I will usually rock him a bit while I sing or tell him a story and then I lay him in his crib awake and he falls asleep without a peep BUT not tonight. No, tonight I rocked and rocked and rocked him until he was fast asleep... in fact I rocked him long after that. I sat there in the pure quietness listening to him breath, feeling his heart beating on my chest and staring into those beautiful, drowsy, brown eyes.

He stared right back at me, deep into my soul! As we sat there with nothing but each other I wondered what he thinks when he looks at me like that. I wonder if he looks at me and feels the overwhelming feeling of love like I do when I look at him. If he knows who I am and that I will always be at his side.

I sat there looking at this amazing gift from God and thanked him a million times over for sending him to me. I cried tears of happiness and tears of sadness, hell I even laughed a little bit. I whispered to my son that he would always be my baby no matter how old he gets or where life takes him.

This past year has gone by too fast. Oh, what I would give to hit rewind and replay it all over again!

My 'baby' boy will be 1 in a little less than 12 hours and I am honestly not sure how to take it. I want to go back to the first time I held his tiny body in my arms or the first time he smiled at me. I want to go back to the excitement of watching him crawl for the first time and the nervousness of his first wobbly steps. At the same time I want to freeze him right where he is because he is at such a fun point but then I can't wait for the future... teaching him how to ride a bike, drive a car and meeting the woman he will one day call his wife.

I have big dreams for this little boy! He has given me a gift that has not monetary value.... THE GIFT OF AMAZINGLY UNCONDITIONAL, EVER LASTING LOVE!

Chaz Christopher you are my heart, my soul, MY EVERYTHING!


  1. Rach, I wish everyone knew you the way I do! You are the most amazing women, mommy, wife and daughter that ever was. I read this with tears of joy and knowing exactly how you feel only you put it to words, I have thought all the same for and about you and I am so thankful for you every minute of my life and I could not think of a better friend to have in the mommy club, Love you with my whole self, Mom:)

  2. I love you Mom! That means the world to me! If I can only be half the Mom that you are I will be happy!

  3. Hey Rachel! This post made me all teary. :) The love between a mother and her baby is so amazing. You put it into words beautifully! Our babies are getting so old, so fast! (My baby girl is almost 16 months!)